Life as an Ant

:(

2005-05-30T21:15:00.000-07:00

it's pretty much definite. me and al are splitting up. there's too much confusion as to what is going on. al wants to be free, and i feel i've pushed him into a corner with nowhere to go. i feel so upset, not because we're breaking up, but because i failed to notice how he was feeling.

Boringness

2005-05-24T20:27:00.000-07:00

I'm having a boringly normal week, unlike some of my friends. My boyfriend is off on some self-fulfillment journey. Jess has developed an addiction to health spas. My mum and dad are off sailing somewhere, and I have the house to myself. I want to throw a party of some sort, but I can't be stuffed. Maybe I should just have a lazy week. Catch up on some reading. I feel I've been slack when it comes to time alone. "Everyone needs to time out to rejuventate" says Jess. "Maybe you should start up a new hobby or interest" says Al. I have a barbeque to go to later on in the week. I'm looking foward to that. Some 'time out', with the added plus of beer and steak. Man food. Yay for man food.

Morning

2005-05-20T17:25:00.000-07:00

Nothing beats the satisfaction of waking up after a good hard session of bonking.

Hangovers Suck

2005-05-17T17:25:00.000-07:00

Hangovers suck.

:(

2005-05-15T16:42:00.000-07:00

I went to the local nightclub in Sale on the weekend, with AL.
That place is a shithole, and the majority of people I spoke to were completely stuck up.
The whole place is relatively dead, compared to Melbourne. I hate it, and I've decided not to move back to the country purely based on the fact that the people who live there, with their attitudes in tow, make me want to vomit.

Apologies

2005-05-11T23:11:00.000-07:00

Ok. I'm over being bitchy. I admit. I put my foot way into my mouth again. I just hate how my baby keeps being attacked all the time. I'm sure some of you can understand that. Sorry.

Speaking of my baby, we're engaged now. Yay for us!!! There are alot of close-minded people out there that say it doesn't count because we're a gay couple, but SCREW THEM... not literally though. They'd probably be really boring in bed.

My Point....

2005-05-08T20:04:00.000-07:00

Is it right for someone to hold a longstanding grudge against someone they don't even know, based on stuff that's been told to them? I think not. Opinions? Thank fuck there are some nice people out there (Pauline and Alex I think their names are). To the two I have mentioned - I'm sorry about the following words.
I'm merely attacking somebody I don't even know, just like what your friend's doing to me. I do this deliberately, as to point out how stupid it looks.

To Julie, if you ever read this, the world needs less people like you. What sort of person judges someone by another by word of mouth. Quote: "i only did it to protect me and pauline from fighting and also jason from seeing it". I love the way you put this. To put it bluntly, you did it to stop people, your friends, from voicing their own opinion, whether it be good or bad. With the whole "Jason and AL" situation, you all just lapped up what Jason had to say, despite the fact another person was involved, and you made your judgement from there. None of you have any fucking idea that Jason was ALSO in the wrong. Of course, I doubt you'd believe any of that because "apparently" Al's the worst person in the world. You just don't get it, any of you. After all this constant shit - the bitching and the one-sided backstabbing against someone you don't even know - Al's STILL trying to get along with people. He hasn't stooped down to your pathetic level. If I (his BOYFRIEND) posted something about giving Jason a second chance, and forgiving him for all the shit HE caused AL, I'm quite positive Al wouldn't have a problem with it. Infact, he'd be interested in my point of view, and why I feel this way. I wouldn't let someone delete my point of view just because it didn't agree with theirs.
Geezuz, I wouldn've at first assumed you were a nice person. Luckily, your last post enlightened me on how much of an ignorant, jealous bitch you really are. Go on, hold a fucking grudge for a long time. But make sure it's over something fucking reasonable, rather than gossip.

out

2005-05-05T16:18:00.000-07:00

*sings*
Monday night, to the club,
Tuesday night, to the club,
Wednesday night, what a headache,
but I went, to the club,
Thursday night, to the club,
Friday night, didn't wanna go,
but my boyfriend Al, called me on the phone,and so I went, to the club...

"To Tha Club" by Spankox. The song that could pretty much describe my life, It's really like that though, because I work in a nightclub, and Al usually calls me on Friday to tell me he's on his way to visit me, and suggests we go to Cage, our regular rave club, to which I normally reply that I actually DO have a headache from working too much, but I end up going out anyway, because I love going clubbing and it'd be a sin NOT to go out on Friday.
*Takes a deep breath*
I caught up with a few old mates last night at Automatic Cafe, for a few "catch-up beers". We were all talking about our partners, and silly me had forgotten that I hadn't told these particular people that I'm gay. So they ask me how I'm going, and I bring up Al's name, but they assume I'm talking about Al as a shortened FEMALE's name. SO we're getting slightly tipsy, and my mate Shaun asks me whether I'm gettin good sex or not. There I was, having a really good time, unfortunately about to put my foot in a really big hole because I had no idea they didn't know about my sexuality. I turn around and state "Yeah, it's pretty good actually. I like being screwed alot more now", and my mates just stop talking and glare at me for a sec, before Mike pipes up and says "What, does your girlfriend use a strap on or something?". Then the realisation hit me, that we were on totally separate wavelengths. So I blurted it out, I said "Guys, I'm gay", and they're like, "So Al's a guy then", and I'm like "Yeah, is that a problem", and they said no, before congratulating me on feeling comfortable enough to be honest with them. I almost cried. THEN however, as I should've expected, they're like "So you suck cock Ant", and I'm like "Yeah, it's quite nice actually, you should try it", and they're like "Now we have someone to call when we're drunk, horny and alone", and I turn around and say "Nah, I'm already Al's bitch, go find your own" and the conversation drifted off onto something else. The purpose of abusing your eyes with my words? To tell the world that I have a great boyfriend, and great friends who are open-minded and laid-back, and I feel fucking great!

The Shrink is in.

2005-05-02T21:43:00.000-07:00

Today I bought myself a new couch, to go in the study. It's like one of those couches you see in psychiatrists offices. It'll be good for when I have stressed friends around, because then they can be comfortable as they tell me their problems. All I need now is a pair of thick framed glasses and a clipboard...

Hangover

2005-05-01T20:48:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's best not assume you can easily get rid of a hangover by downing 5 beers the next morning in one hour.